broken

Location: Chicago, by UIC, Ogden and Polk

Some time between 6pm and midnight tonight (technically, yesterday.. as it is 1:38am, therefore being a different day), my car was broken into. The passenger windshield was bashed in and some items were taken from my automobile. The items: GPS (tomtom), my Nintendo DS, and a stranger's cell phone (sidestory: someone left their phone at church, I got in touch with them, and I kept it in my car to give back to them. The person never looked for me for their phone. Now their phone is really lost. ugh..), and this awesome device that splits my car's cigarette lighter adaptor thing into 3. Stupid of me to leave the GPS out there to see, so I do blame myself. Still, the situation sucks.

But, as I drove home, I remembered something I read on D.L. Moody. There was an incident where a young man was robbing him at gunpoint. Moody gave him the wallet and his watch; then, he offered him his coat as well. He figured that if the young man was so desperate to rob him, he might be in a difficult situation in life and could benefit from having a warm coat.

Likewise, I hope that the person with my items is able to use it to help themselves. I may not be able to actively show the person love as Dr. Moody did, but the attitude is the same. Though this person has wronged me, it is no different from the sins I commit on a daily basis. I pray that God will reveal to the person His love, His grace, and His mercy as God continues to show me the same.

A Stop for Gas

I was really tired today after youth group discipleship and missions prep. I haven't been able to sleep in lately (or ever, really), so my exhaustion from the day compounded from my lack of sleep. I wasn't necessarily cranky, but I wanted to knock out in bed SOON.

My usual route home from church is Palatine to Willow to Pfingsten. There used to be a gas station conveniently on Willow and Sanders. It's gone now, so I have to pass Pfingsten if I want gas past 10pm (or whenever it is that most gas stations close). I tried to see if two other gas stations I knew of were open, so I took a weird route home. Neither was open, so I ended up going to the BP on Shermer and Willow anyway. Kind of frustrating.

So, I never liked buying gas. Does anyone? My car eats it too fast. It's ludicrously expensive. Plus, I feel like I'm wasting so much time. Park the car. Pre-pay (or pay at the station), and wait for the gas as I see the amount of money dwindling shoot up at an alarming rate. So I like the drudgery to be as quick and painless as possible.

This particular night, it took especially long to complete my money-wasting on gas. I bought a drink and asked the attendant for $18.61 of gas ($1.39 for drink. $18.61 for gas. One $20 bill. I think it's clever). So, I return to my vehicle and pick up the pump to start the fueling process. Either the pump or the attendant was having issues, so I had to go back in twice to ask what was going on. At this point, I was a bit irritated at the situation and just wanted to get home. I didn't say it, but I was thinking, "This guy is a moron and can't even get this right. How difficult can working at a gas station be!?" Arrogant, I know.

That's when I met Bill. A middle-aged, drunk, Greek Cubs fan with a flowery Motorola RZR. He was asking people if someone had the number to a taxi service. I found the number and gave it to him. He pulled out the pink phone and adamantly stated, "I don't want you to think I'm gay or anything because I have this phone. It is my sister's." He had a bit of trouble with it and gave me the phone to try and help him with the prompts on the taxi answering service.

This is when I thought of a brilliant idea. In a few days, I'm going to the Dominican Republic on a missions trip, but I'm still having some trouble raising funds. It's been on my mind day in and day out; I don't know how I'm going to raise the second half of the $1200. So.. why don't I tell the guy about it and charge him the same amount as a taxi would to drive him home? It's for a good cause, so it's perfect!

Bill was desperate for a ride, so he agreed to $20 to drive him home. It was a 20-25 minute drive. After agreeing to the transaction, I see the pump is past $30 and nearing $40; so, I stop the problematic pump. The attendant also rushes out to the pump to address the problem; it's like Monopoly: Gas Station Error in Your Favor: $20 of free gas. Bill comes back to my car after buying a Coke and withdrawing some money from the ATM.

As we drive, I start chatting with Bill. At the same time, I question my own sanity for willing to drive a drunk stranger home. He grew up in America, but was in Greece for 20 years and only recently returned to find work. He was left without a ride because he had an argument with his sister that night and she left without him. She had revealed that night to him she was lesbian and it didn't sit well with him. Throughout the car ride, he would make calls and scream over the phone in Greek and then sob to me about things going on in his life. He lost his job and didn't have much money, either. Despite it all, I still had the intent to collect my taxi fee from Bill. I wanted to raise more money for my missions trip, after all.

When I dropped Bill off, I decided to drop the cost and give him a free ride. Even that was a 'tough' decision for me. He was so appreciative; not only that, he needed that money much more than I did.

It was on my drive home that I realized how foolish I was. I was so consumed with fundraising that it became a selfish, blind ambition. Instead of being genuinely nice in giving Bill a ride, I wanted something out of it; $20 towards my missions goal. Seeing the situation Bill was in, I should've been the one to offer him some help. Rather than thinking about why I'm going on this trip, I was only thinking about raising funds to meet my goal. My desire to raise funds for this trip was interfering with my desire for Christ.

I almost took money from a desperate and troubled man who needed the money more. I didn't even consider that a gas station error gave me $20 of free gas the moment I met Bill. My desire to raise money at all costs superceded my desire for God. To quote John Piper, "God and God alone is the final, ultimate goal for our quest. All that God is for us in Jesus is the Object of our quest for joy." God's plans for me are not Machiavellian; the ends do not justify the means. Taking our eyes off the ultimate goal- for even a moment- oft ruins our judgment and blurs our eyes.